Island Fever...

Well, we thought we were going to avoid this, but, we have slowly discovered that the size of an island is inversely proportional to how quickly it will drive your rational comprehension processes over the deep end. Crazy. Mad. Wacky. Psycho. Bonkers. AKA: Island Fever.

Island Fever is defined as the psychological phenomena of feeling somewhat or intensely claustrophobic from the close proximity of the shorelines on a small island, and being disconnected from the outside world.

Yes, it's a real thing... the smaller the island, the quicker it manifests... we are not fully there as yet but we are starting to feel the “pull” for visiting our family and friends, Tim Horton's coffee, and for finding clothing, household needs, pantry staples, and fresh refrigerator type foods at a big box store like Superstore and Walmart. We try to stay positive - "we can do this" - but memories of a previous life have a way of influencing the disease.

Happily, there’s a cure for island fever... It’s all about getting off the frik-fraking rock. If you’re in the extreme latter stages of this debilitating situation, you’ll probably have an urge to throw yourself into the sea and start swimming away from land. But that would be a big mistake. Swim, swim, swim, and you really don't get very far. Having to avoid the inter-island freighters can be tricky as they don't stop for the little things in the water. Swim, swim, swim some more... Well, it seems getting off the rock should always be done with the help of an approved and perhaps somewhat safe mode of travel to ensure your intended shopping desires can be fulfilled at some point in the not too distant future.

But before you can fully diagnose and prescribe the appropriate cure, you need to recognize the various stages of the disease. Note them well as it strikes all of us islanders at some time or another. The symptoms and their effect are identical to what Canadians experience in the great white north. The dreaded Cabin Fever. Canadians have developed an in-bread sort of resistance to this phenomenon due to the seemingly never ending depths of snow that accumulate in some regions of the country. This is one of the reasons Canadian beer has more alcohol and tastes far better than the products you can find in the neighbouring country to the immediate south. And don’t think you’re immune from Island Fever just because you're from Canada, or because you’ve had it before. Much like the common cold, this thing mutates again and comes back for another round. Yep.

Six months in Barbados and now about eight months in Grenada. Both islands are about the same proportionate size (Barbados 20 km X 35 km vs Grenada 15 km X 30 km) - and with approximately the same life styles, the same amount of pot holed roads, the same non-selection of tomatoes and other groceries, about the same visible poverty. The same weather year-round and the same routine day-in day-out. Although we must admit that Grenada is a far better place for long term living than Barbados.

Oh yes, we can just hear the groans of "sympathy" and sounds of violins coming from our readers as I write this. And yes, we know we have been spoiled, and that fact is not lost on us, but we have a yearning for shifting gears in our adventure. And, we do miss our families. It's kinda like being in space and only being able to communicate through Mission Control. Our biggest concern would obviously be centered around the safety of our family members on the ground, and if something happened to them, we aren't there to help them.

They say that prevention is the best kind of cure, and we agree. Our non-medical opinion for helping to fight off this disease would be to plan regularly scheduled vacations. Yes, our children stood there with their mouths open when we suggested we should plan to set aside a portion of our monthly budget for this. In fact they laughed at us, rolling on the floor, and they thought we were crazy for thinking it... Yep... "Why would you need a vacation when you live in paradise?" They laughed and they laughed and then they laughed some more... But we somehow just knew through our research of reading about others living in paradise that it might become necessary, but as Canadians trying to get away from snow, we just couldn't put our finger on it.

Catching this disease in its early stages can help you head off the worst of the inevitable complications that arrive in the latter stages. Learn to identify the symptoms so you can keep an eye on each other. If both of you exhibit the symptoms at once, quarantine yourselves in the departure lounge of the nearest airport. If your bank account raises an eyebrow, or your friends think you have gone crazy, just tell them it’s doctor’s orders... gotta go...We also know that the minute we leave we are going to miss being here immensely. It's part of the disease and you can't shake it once it's under your skin. ...must leave... must return... must leave... must return...

Island Fever Stage 1: Feeling Annoyed. You’re snapping at the bar tender, cursing at the beach dogs, and shooting sullen glances at the walrus-like tourists flopping around on their tanning beds. Milk sours a few days before the expiry date and you are visibly upset you can't make mac and cheese for dinner. It might just be a bad day, or it might be the early stages of the dreaded Island Fever.

Symptoms: Mild irritation, impatience, growing tempers.

Cure: Take a quick flight to Toronto and find the nearest big box store for some weekend discount shopping. Become refreshed while taking note of the amazing customer service, endless selections, and reasonable pricing.

Island Fever Stage 2: Pacing The Floor. Our island is only 30 km long. When we keep driving those 30 km back and forth and complaining that there’s “nowhere to go,” there’s a good chance the second stage has kicked in. You have stopped going to your favourite bars and are seeking out new watering holes – where no one knows you name...

Symptoms: Habitually restless, constant fidgeting, involuntary twitching of the face and plenty of knee jerking.

Cure: Pick a destination that you’ve never been to. Go there. Be a tourist for a week or two. Take in the sights, eat different food, explore and soak up something new. Take a spa break with a massage and let the sound of new waves on an unfamiliar beach soothe your angry soul. Challenge yourself to discover how many different umbrella drinks you can fit into one afternoon.

Island Fever Stage 3: Full Blown Lunacy. Warning, this stage can involve a lot of cursing and thrashing about. It’s not unusual for a sufferer to go into full Hulk mode. From what we have seen in others, the things that can set off an attack are small bugs, a sunny day, humidity, a leaf on your picnic table, a dog bark, being unable to find decent potatoes… you get the idea. At this point, to prevent injury to yourself or those around you, heavy drinking is best left to the couch in the living room and you only go out to pick up microwave frozen foods on the days the inter-island freighter has been there and they will be available.

Symptoms: Constant simmering anger, directed at almost anything. You’re sick of the same restaurants, tired of driving the same roads, exhausted at the thought of seeing the same people, and frustrated at looking at the same views. You somehow realize you’re deep into the fever and it’s time for a complete change of scene. You feel like punching the next tourist who says, “You're so lucky, how could you ever get sick of that view?”, ...and you find you are making jello shooters with 50% vodka and calling it dinner.

Cure: Go back to Canada for a while and spend some time with family. Breathe some fresh air, new air, and get a little perspective because the truth is that Island Fever and Island Love are two sides of the same coin. The rock may seem like a prison sometimes, but mostly, it’s paradise. And you will only remember and realize that right after you get off the plane in Vancouver and feel the cold damp air, and then you start missing the white beaches, blue water, palm trees and a cooling breeze that takes the edge off the consistent year-round 30+ C temperatures.

But then, there is also an ongoing option for us "slow motion travel" folks to pack our worldly belongings into our 4 suitcases and just head to the next destination. If we were to do that, we could experience a long term visit in a new and perhaps exotic place to bring us a nice change and some new excitement. That does have its benefits and seems to satisfy or placate the Island Fever issue. In addition, should we decide to leave, we also have the option to return whence we came to enjoy a little more of this slice of paradise. Based on what we have experienced here up to now, that seems more satisfying and likely in the long term ....