Becoming An Island Expat

The transition that takes place after your arrival for a long term stay on a rock in the Caribbean cannot be escaped, but you might find yourself on a self-imposed roller coaster experience before you find your happy place. We were fortunate to have spent time in Mexico and Barbados before our arrival in Grenada, so most of our emotional “learning” was already done, and had an accelerated transition after arriving here. However, if you are new to all of this, life here consists of a few stages that you will likely see as part of your journey.

At first you are confidently wearing your floppy brim tourist hat, or a wide Tilly hat, with an umbrella drink garnishing one hand and a camera hanging by a strap in the other, while wearing a multi-coloured polyester Hawaiian shirt. Soft breezes, flowers, white beaches, new sights and sounds, weird foods to explore - some that taste surprisingly good, some not-so-much. But life is good. You feel like you have the world in your hands.

You could prepare yourself with information from tourism videos, travel guides, research from Trip Advisor, expat websites and forums. But that planning will only give you a false sense of emotional stability. Nothing can prepare you for what doesn't show up on any of these sites. Living here is very different than taking a short vacation. Yes, you will be surprised when some of the seemingly smallest things cause you angst and stress, and other similarly small things will bring you joy and happiness - the latter sometimes occurring after the former, for the same small issue.

There are several stages to help you get through all of this and there is no definitive time frame associated with each one. Getting to the final stage can take years, or longer if you are not travel savvy. Or you might never get there if you don't have an open mind...

The Honeymoon...

The first stage is by far the most fun, and the longer it lasts, the better. This is the Honeymoon stage. As you explore your new island’s attractions and take delight in the beautiful scenery and sunsets, you will experience a sense of happiness and contentment in your new home while you write to your family and friends being sure to post photos galore of your fantastic new adventure. Comparing small things that you notice to your previous home country seems quaint and delightful. Sipping cocktails and exploring bars and restaurants gives you a sense of excitement that you are living in a place where others only get to holiday. Everything seems fabulous in your expat island life. You can’t wait to find out more about this new culture and to hopefully make a host of new friends. Unpacking is even fun, you find yourself humming your favourite tunes, and it feels like your future is so bright ya gotta wear shades. You will occasionally return to this stage when your initial shock about something was a false alarm, ...and then you realize it's just part of the charm of island life.

The Honeymoon Ends...

The main problem with this second stage is that you come to the realization that the first stage is now over, and it didn’t last nearly as long as you had intended. There will be a brief moment of denial as you reach this stage. It's when you start to deal with the daily routine of living in another country and a few cracks start to appear. You immediately try to sweep them under the carpet in the hope that you can go back to the Honeymoon stage. But the cracks are there and you start to worry that they will reappear later and remain firmly in place. This is also about the time you ditch the polyester and go looking for cotton...

When you venture out to go shopping and check out the neighbourhood it becomes painfully apparent that Dorothy and Toto are no longer in Kansas. Your internal need for your familiar and favourite things makes you realize that it might be time for a nervous breakdown in a fetal position. This usually doesn't bode well in hotel lobbies or food stores. Security people seem to pop out from nowhere.

Then a disturbing bit of frustration arrives - you realize assimilation is inevitable if you and your sanity are to survive. You also realize there was a shocking change to your system and your very well-being. You start eating more chocolate - thankfully Grenada has an abundance of this wonderful stuff.

You begin to realize that what they say is true... living on an island, and holidaying on an island, are not the same. Living here really is different.

Remember those small points of comparison to your home country that you thought were so charming? They may start to irritate you now. Bugs, yes there are bugs. Lizards and snakes - yep. Sunburn...oh very yes. Sidewalks... sometimes. Rain arrives in biblical proportions. I mean it REALLY rains here...for a few minutes and then it stops. And yes, seeing poverty can be an eye-opener. It is almost everywhere. Once you have taken a few bus rides with locals and have shopped for your previously favourite foods, you realize that things really are different here.

Keeping a positive outlook is key to this stage, as it helps to stop every little frustration from developing into something larger than it actually is. Get to the beach, enjoy another sunset, take a large sip of rum, and breathe deeply. This is paradise, after all, right? And yes, it's beautiful here.

Acceptance...

The turning point is this third stage when you become more comfortable with the culture and your surroundings. You stop “seeing” the poverty, the differences from home, the new ways of doing things, and have arrived at the acceptance stage. It takes a while but you start to overlook the things that were shocking to you as a newbie and are simply a part of the island living experience. You are more familiar with your new home, you’ve met a few people, and the local news does not seem so alien to you anymore.

You join a club or two and meet some nice people. We just joined the Grenada Association of Retired Persons (GARP). You start to understand the culture better and appreciate and also start to respect its unique qualities. Local phrases will start to enter your vocabulary, and by now, you will have a few favourite restaurants and bars that you frequent and are perhaps even getting to be known as a “regular” and people there are happy to see you. You have a really nice tan by now. You can have fun with vendors at the market and negotiate a better deal than what the “pink” tourists get. You know the short cuts around your neighbourhood and the main roads across the country, and may even have a favourite gecko in your kitchen and make friends with lizards living outside in the garden. You realize dancing in the rain is fun.

Integration...

The fourth stage will not be reached until you have lived in the tropics for at least a year or perhaps more. Although you may never be accepted and integrated as a true local, you now feel as though this is your home and nothing seems strange to you anymore, but you still have to remind people that you “live here”. We do this almost every day... You feel at ease and learn to laugh at local jokes and comment on political issues. You now appreciate the culture and daily life in ways that seem so different from when you first arrived. You invite people over for dinner. You know all the great places to shop and were to get that cheap bucket of beer on the beach.

And the objective behind integration for some - and that includes us - you could get your residency card, but we're not there yet.

The different stages for making the transition require different coping mechanisms to see you through them. We enjoy the sunsets, taking long walks on the beach, and a sip of nice rum now and then is also helpful. Never miss an opportunity to find enjoyment out of the smallest things. And learn new things every day - smile a lot.

Island expat life teaches you not only about a new country, but a lot about yourself. Sit back, let the frustrations happen, learn from them, and let them slide off your shoulders. Enjoy the opportunity that you have given yourself to learn to live where others vacation. And be happy to help others along the way. Share your knowledge so they can be happy too. Yes, it's different here from the great white north... we love that we have been able to add this spice island called Grenada to our adventure.