Living with Tourists
Just the other day, I found myself watching a tourist newcomer. He was sitting on a plastic chair next to a painted picnic table. While sipping on a Banks beer, he was chowing down on some fish cakes and hot sauce from the beach bar. While he sat there, he watched the bikini clad women who were also enjoying their beer on the beach. He had a big grin on his face behind his designer shades, and was positioned so his newcomer skin could soak up the sun. It was very obvious that he was happy to be here, enjoying the view. He was probably thinking how lucky these people are to be living here - frolicking about on the beach they way they do. Yes, we agree, and we had our rose coloured glasses on when we first arrived and it was nice to revisit that feeling again through this unsuspecting newbie. I then sat back, took a sip of my beer, and got a little sunshine myself. The lesson for us is to remember is to keep being a tourist, no matter how long we have been here. And, we still head out with our cameras and marvel at the flowers, the blue water and white sand, the local architecture, the people, and enjoy a cool one at the beach.
We are glad that we have been here just long enough to be part of the almost-know-something scene. Not that we are anywhere close to being “locals” in our relatively short time here, and yet we feel some sort of entitlement to make a bit of fun of the newbies..... Slows down for every on-coming vehicle and drives on the wrong side of the road? - tourist. Windshield wipers going on a sunny day rather than using a turn signal? - tourist. Eyes bug out when a large black man with long braided corn rows with beads walks toward them and wants to shake hands - tourists. Wearing synthetic flowered shirts from Hawaii? - tourists. Partying till 4 in the morning on an open deck within earshot of the open windows of all the neighbours? - tourists. As much as we poke fun behind their backs, we often look upon them with envy, and look back to the first few days when we were experiencing island life for the first time. We still do our best to let our inner tourist-selves shine, and remember to embrace what we are so lucky to have every day.
However, it's time for yet another “tongue in cheek” posting...there have been many along the way in our blog site...
This is about life with tourists and is for those nice folks from the north who perhaps want to move here. You need to be aware that this type of lifestyle is very different from the one you just gave up. It is not for everyone. Even in a tropical paradise, pursuing mundane, routine daily life activities are still required, but are perhaps not necessarily understood by those who come here as vacationing visitors – after all it is just one big drunken party all the time... right?... Ah... wrong... for those of us who live here and still have to do our daily chores, this notion gets old on those rare occasions when we aren't in the party mood.
There are many potential side effects that occur from choosing this life style while entertaining and engaging with tourists from the north. It might be interesting to take a look at some of them before you throw away your long johns and Italian leather shoes.
Groceries: people on vacation seem to make grocery shopping a team sport. They arrive together to explore a new place, and they want to experience the new shopping sensation together too. Groups of tourists who arrived together fill the aisles, debating over a communal market list for the 10 days of their vacation time. Sometimes they split up and have to phone each other to discuss selections. This is a fun way for locals to meet new people, particularly when the grocery store’s aisles weren’t designed to accommodate more than one person pushing a cart at a time – remember to keep left. You help them when they can't find something, or when they have that look of horror in their eyes when they convert the high prices to their home currency, or when they realize the stuff in this store is not like the one they left behind up north.
One of the most annoying things is having newbies come to the cash register with non-local currency and expect to get bank rates at the till and then complain when they don't. It's a bit humorous to be next shoppers who arrive from USA with their fists full of greenbacks, and watch as they can't calculate costs in Barbados dollars - it's two to one people...
You explain just how lucky they are that most stores tend to market their goods to the constant flow of incoming tourists, as people who are here on vacation seem to be “more free with their cash flow” you say... The eventual plus side for those of us who live here full time is that our initial sticker shock (as previous newbies) gently fades with time along with our bank balance. It also causes us to believe that everywhere else in the world is getting a much better deal than we are. We are right.
A stick in the mud: people from the north who are visiting the island view their stay as the most exciting time in their year, and therefore by default, it must be yours too. This is when everyone around you seems to be abandoning common sense and start pounding back those immediate gratifying pursuits at the beach bar, or rent a Sea Doo jet boat for the day, or hop on the Jolly Roger drunk tour, take scuba lessons, the island safari tour, or the constant dinners out in the fine dining establishments, and you are just too tired to do the same... yet again! What they fail to realize is that you just had visitors who believed the exact same thing last month. And the month before that. And, seeing as we are somewhat outgoing friendly people, we seem to meet many other nice people on vacation, and they want to engage in vacation activities that must "obviously" include us too. So, it seems that if we sometimes are unable to drop everything, or we don't have the room on our bathroom scale to deviate from our diet, nor the bank account to take an expensive catamaran day cruise, or to party each night until 4 am, we sometimes get labeled as boring, dull, lame, life-less, sticks in the mud.
An obvious fashion failure: people tend to pack their newest and coolest clothes for their much anticipated vacations. They bring the latest in fashion and perhaps more daring fashion statements for suntanning their starving crispy white bodies – I swear that some of those bikinis are just made of a few bits of string, and probably cost hundreds...
Those of us who live here in the middle of the ocean deal with the harsh realities of mould, the bleaching salt surf, deteriorating elasticity in garments due to intense sun exposure, falling apart of fibers from detergents designed to scour out sweat and the aforementioned island scourges. And then of course, the inaccessibility or unavailability of the latest fashion options and fashion accessories, lead to a complete wardrobe collapse. The high cost of running a clothes dryer means hanging your tiny delicate items on the outside clothes line along with floor mats, t-shirts, shorts and sheets exposing them to the elements, and the inevitable rush of multi-coloured tropical birds looking for a nice place to land and digest their latest snack.
The high cost of replacing your wardrobe in the Caribbean is prohibitive to your ever dwindling pension budget and you will inevitably be the least stylish, and potentially most homeless-looking person on the beach with holes in your colour clashing clothes. Although, there are some fashion consultants who would disagree and rather consider that style the latest trend. Congratulations are in order when you get there, you are now considered a local.
Booze: I believe we may have mentioned this in other posts... In a place where rum punch flows like water and rum from the bottle actually tastes really good, tourists who are responsible grown adults consume alcohol in quantities they haven’t tackled since sneaking it from Dad's booze cupboard while they were teens. This curiosity in the Caribbean is similar to what we experienced in Puerto Vallarta, and to be honest, we were a small part of the economic contribution while we were there. Ordering shots left and right, and always ready for another round of whatever colourful tasty liquid that arrives in goblets with fruit packs and those little umbrellas. This contagious party spirit is sure to loosen what little inhibitions you might still possess, causing you to engage in that all-too-familiar “sure, let's have another round please”....or as we said many times in Mexico: “una ronda mas por favor”.... After all, when you are hanging with your tourist buddies, every day is Saturday now that you are retired.
Pining for family: you have likely always associated the smell of sunscreen with those previously very limited weeks of summertime, family vacation, long days at the beach, and fun, in general. It's a natural reaction, that smelling sunscreen-coated tourists at the water will make your nose play tricks on your brain, causing you to believe it's a family beach day. You find yourself in a snack line with tourists in swimsuits and sun hats, watch them at the pool opening homemade sandwiches, playing games in the pool, or reading a book on a lounge chair and enjoying a beach day. Fun is happening all around you and you can’t always join in. All may be well and good in your island life, yet witnessing first hand the enthusiastic merriment of strangers and friends with their families who are enjoying their getaways can cause you to think longingly for your own family members and special people who you are not there with you.
That damn scale: soon-to-be vacationing humans have a tendency to crash diet (gotta get beach ready!) for months before they head for the land of sunshine and bikinis, and then for the duration of their brief visit to paradise, they splurge. Devouring gluttonous quantities of decadent foods that would never be part of their normal northern menu and then sitting back and drowning the remaining crevices in their already bloated selves with high octane liquids (see previous "booze paragraph). If you find yourself dining with these vacationers it will definitely impact your carefully crafted dietary regime. Somehow they lead you into joining them in their consumption and gluttony, even though you know damn well you are not on vacation yourself. Groan. Your waistline is bursting, along with the seams in your tank tops. You already know there are five more sets of vacationers who are either on their way or are in the midst of planning to join you in your nice neighborhood of palm trees.
Yes, this was all tongue in cheek and meant as a bit of fun. But if you need assistance in gaining additional information to become aware of how to prepare for a move south, and then how to handle the daily struggle with vacationers from the north, there is hope..., take time – lots of time, to consult with your favorite bartender to see if this is right for you....or, perhaps it might be more handy to go back and read some of our other posts. :-) ...Cheers!