Montezuma
Your true Mexican holiday experience is not complete without encountering the "charming" effect of Montezuma's revenge. The revenge element alludes to the supposed payback by smaller countries who have been invaded by more aggressive countries, and which are now, in this small but effective way, getting their own back. As we all have come to know, it is usually caused by drinking water or eating food that visitors aren't accustomed to. Montezuma II was Emperor of Mexico from 1502 to 1520 and was in power when the Spanish began their conquest of the Aztec Empire. Although Montezuma clearly had no reason to like the Conquistadors who invaded his empire, his gift was shared openly, and was not reserved for Spaniards alone. Other names for it are: The Gringo Gallop, The Aztec Two-step, Gandhi's Revenge, Delhi Belly, Pharaoh's Revenge, Mummy's Tummy, etc.
What goes up must come down – I'm pretty sure that someone has chiseled that theory into stone somewhere. But, there are exceptions to that:
One of them is the multitude of space debris floating within close proximity to our little blue planet that we call home... kinda like plastic bottles and other flotsam and jetsam in the oceans. And I suppose the space debris might one day fall back to earth in a spectacular fire ball....
And, there is one other anomaly: sometimes what goes down must come back up again. All by itself.
We have enjoyed many meals in many places during our long term stay in Mexico. There are many restaurants here with top notch chefs that create amazing meals. We have done our best to frequent them and to add new ones to our ever lengthening list. It is a cooking holiday for me, so I have actually suggested to Cyndi that we eat out from time to time.
The bane of all food establishments – where ever they may be – is to keep food fresh and “microbe-free” until it lands clean, fresh, or piping hot on a plate in front of you. At least that is yet another theory. The heat in this country is relentless, and food can be spoiled in many ways. Humidity adds to that and we have seen mould in many places including our apartment - kinda like it is in Vancouver too. The delivery truck a/c system could fail during a delivery from the warehouse; the driver might turn off the truck to save fuel (and the a/c stops with it) while products are being delivered; products don't get into a refrigeration quickly enough after been unloaded – not the driver's job; and refrigeration and cleanliness can sometimes be lacking by those who are preparing your dinner.
We have definitively confirmed the negative effect of heat on groceries. The constant purging of the vege bin, and the smelling of the milk before each use has become routine. Expiry dates on products don't necessarily reflect its useful properties and so attentive inspection is always needed. I am very careful about food handling and preparation once it gets into my home. But, even though I don't really have a cooking reputation to uphold, I am sure that Cyndi would appreciate it if I didn't poison us in some way. In fact, if I did make an unsavoury meal, Cyndi would quickly suggest that we eat out and leave the cooking experiment in the offending pot ..... hey, wait a minute... that would save me a lot shopping, cooking, and trips to the garbage with spoiled vegetables, milk, bread, etc.... hmmmm.
I am very certain that the chefs in our friendly neighbourhood are careful in their kitchens as they DO have a reputation to uphold. Most of the time we enjoy meals at highly regarded establishments with excellent feedback on main stream review sites. Our favourite restaurants carefully guard their status on these sites and they sometimes ask us to provide feedback if we had an enjoyable experience (Cyndi is usually quick to offer to do that once we get home to our computers). However, for all of their care, they too will sometimes have issues to address.
We are very mindful about avoiding street food, no taco stands or food trucks. Some places don't have running water to clean their ingredients or to clean their preparation tools and tables. And, nothing from the guys on the beach carrying long sticks (for hours) with seafood and flies on them. I mean really. So, no thank you.
OK – without a lot of details, there have been many days here in Mexico where it is important to have direct and close access to a bathroom with the door closed. There must also be a clear path, free of furniture, laptop cables, flip-flops, etc., leading into the bathroom making each sprint an easy and swift event. Patty has mentioned that this is a natural bodily function for most people living here, and happens more often than you may think.
However, there have also been incidents where you witness the core of your body expand to four times its usual size. Then you clearly hear the ever increasing gurgling inside, and you become quite alarmed along with that “Oh No....” feeling. You start to sweat and breathe in all the wrong ways, and you also try to hold it back (silly human) and hope it will just go away. Not a chance. Details not required but you do marvel at the velocity and volume. Amazing.
So, I found out today that it can also be really interesting, when what would typically be a single incident that causes you to have a hurried seat in a stall at the grocery store, becomes a double whammy. At first you commend yourself with being prompt in getting into that little room, and thinking the problem is now solved, you leave it all behind to enjoy more shopping with your concerned and waiting beautiful bride. Suddenly, you discover a second trip is necessary, but on return, all three stalls are now occupied. You are now sweating profusely and discover there is a new urgency, different than the last, and the washroom cleaning lady is standing there watching you. This type of incident hasn't presented itself in the past, so spectacular Spanish is not on the tip of your tongue. Hand signals for what one would hope would produce a pail, she simply pointed that it would be best to go back into the fray with those three stalls fully engaged. The only help you can see is a half-full, full-sized garbage can, and again, details are not required for your next amazing biological experience regarding velocity and volume. As it turns out, there was some brilliance to the entire affair as the used paper towels that were already in the garbage helped to avoid a CSI spatter pattern on your flip-flops. By this time, the three stalls were quickly emptied, as their hearing was apparently top notch, and the obligatory “Lo Siento” somehow was formed when I came up for air.
A severe food contamination (food poisoning) can show itself in a few hours, and other more mild cases could take a couple of days. It is therefore difficult to point directly at the culprit that brought this entertainment to your day.
Mexico has always been associated with Montezuma and his revengeful ways. And even though you try your best to be careful, somehow he sneaks in to pay you a visit. As a public service announcement, you might wish to try this very useful antibiotic medicine as it works great: "Bactrim" (800 mg Sulfametoxazol / 160 mg Trimetoprima) twice a day for a week. One word of caution, replace your digestive enzymes regularly, as the antibiotic kills them too. When that happens you bloat... at lot... just sayin.