Crossing a Bridge - An Epiphany

When I started thinking about writing this post it felt like a rant of some sort, but in the end it sure felt great to write it down....

The first few months of our retirement were inundated with a lot of activity - sell stuff, downsize, organize and plan so we could get on with our first phase of retirement travel while trying to fit our remaining worldly belongings into a few suitcases. For the most part, that first year really felt like an extended vacation, and all the while we felt like we would eventually have to go back to office at some point. We had been on vacation to PV before and it seems like were doing the same things now as the last time we were here - just a longer stay. Lot's of excitement and new friends to keep us busy all the time. Just like when we were working.

Then it hits us: our daily lives, responsibilities and activities that previously lived in that “work” world have gradually become just a fading four letter word. That daily business of making a conscience decision to set a mechanical device to create a rude noise that sets in motion an unconscious routine to shower, shave and brush your teeth, to wear a tie, drive through stressful traffic so you can listen to others who want to make you do things you really don't want to do – all in support of someone's agenda to make someone else look good. .....All gone.

It has been just over one year since Cyndi and I officially retired. Perhaps it takes that long to reprogram your brain and change your approach to life. That could also be why some people say you should taper work off slowly and move gently into retirement mode. They could be right. So this post is all about the big change, and the “letting go” that happens when you stop having a daily work routine to eat groceries. Both of us had what we thought were important jobs / roles with our employers and we embraced those roles with all sincerity. It's also good to know that others are carrying on our previous good intentions in our projects, albeit changed to reflect new agendas, and we can stop thinking about that now.

The concept of retirement has finally settled in and then you realize you have a full and complete change in your life. Everything you now do, and now don't do. It's actually more than shedding your skin and starting fresh again – it's a whole new direction that impacts your very persona - we have left the City where we lived and worked, left our families behind, disposed of our material things, and have completely changed our living environment. Some people would label that as inconceivable, and yet here we are with our few belongings...

Politics really don't matter; Religion is only as good as you want to make it; our retirement world will be as small or large as we want it to be; and (after a few margaritas on the beach) it could probably be summed up in one line from a song by Jo dee Messina: My give-a-damn's busted... finally! Yay! Maybe that means I can officially turn into a grumpy old man. Maybe it also means that I can let go and feel free again - kinda like you felt when you were a kid. Really nothing to steer your day other than eating and sleeping. Of course we have interesting things to do – that we want to do - and we definitely pursue those and will never stop doing more of that. What a feeling!

And, as that four letter word continues to fade away we are happy to reflect favorably on our former selves for sticking with it and being able to earn those great retirement pensions that now permit us to do this... I suppose it's sort of like saying no pain, no gain. Don't get me wrong – there are many people in our working lives who we cherish and are grateful to have had them in our daily lives, and there were many events in our careers that we still speak fondly of and share with our new friends when they ask about our former selves.

I am very glad we are out exploring the parts of the world that we want to see while we have the energy and health to do it. It's also great to wake up at the crack of 9:00 am and sip on coffee for an hour before standing in the kitchen and scratching your behind while pondering some sort of breakfast. It's awesome to make decisions on the activity of the day based on what part of fridge needs to be replenished. It's so refreshing to make loose plans with friends for a meet-up and some refreshments just because your feel like it. It's great to be able to pick an unseen destination and find your way there because you were inspired to that day. I can't believe that we stay up late to watch the funny guys on TV and then go to bed at midnight or later because, well, that's just what do now.

It's really comforting to know that we planned well to meet our needs and have taken the right steps to make the most of the first few years into letting go of the office. It's like crossing a long one-way bridge and not really knowing what's on the other side and then discovering that the other side is actually much more than what you expected. And we don't really need to plan any further ahead than that right now. What an epiphany!